emotions | GAIL FRANK

The alarm rang at 6:00 am on Monday morning, and Tyra Martin hit the snooze button. The knot in her stomach tightened as she envisioned heading to the office for yet another day in corporate agony. She sighed, swung her legs over the edge of the bed and willed herself to get moving.

Sound familiar? Many American workers stay in jobs they hate. According to a national survey by The Conference Board, only 51% of workers are satisfied with their jobs.

To overcome fears of a career change, first define what keeps you from a switch. Is it:

Fear of a pay cut?
Fear of the time needed to re-school or recertify or start at entry level?
Potential embarrassment about your career dreams or what others will say?
Lack of information about how to make the switch?
Feeling you have too much invested in your current career choice?
Low self esteem?
Fear of failure?

The first key to a career change is “choice”. You are never trapped in a job; you choose to stay in it. You can leave, even though there may be consequences.

The second key is timing. Imagine trying to eat an elephant in one sitting. Sounds daunting! However, isn’t it a more manageable task if you took many little bites over a month? Making a major career shift all at once also seems impossible. However, as smaller, more discrete tasks you can make progress toward a new job that makes you happy. Look to the long term future: setting a goal to be in a new field in 3 to 5 years is not unrealistic.

BABY STEPS TOWARD A CAREER CHANGE

1) Set a reasonable time frame. It may take as long as a year to decide on a career direction. Calibrating expectations will ensure you don’t get frustrated and give up too easily. Allocate time to write out your ideal job characteristics, and then to find jobs that match. Next, find people doing those jobs, and ask them for advice and perspective on the job. Lastly, you need to make a plan for any retraining or experience needed for the position.

2) Evaluate your finances. Calculate the minimum living expenses you need. Investigate loans, refinancing, and other sources of money. Examine school scholarships and whether your company offers tuition reimbursement. Even though it is tough, evaluate what lifestyle choices you are willing to sacrifice in the short term for your long-term happiness.

3) Create a detailed written description of your ideal job. You can’t make a career change without a clear and detailed picture. Forget about job titles in the beginning. Focus on the tasks, environment and output. Include the following:

Physical environment: office type, setup, dress code, work hours, office atmosphere, and working conditions.
Describe the kinds of people you work with: peers, subordinates, bosses, clients. Describe how you help these people, and how they support you.
Team or individual work: state your preference for working alone, or always with others? If both, under what circumstances you prefer each. Decide when you are happiest and most productive.
What is your work output, or what do you “DO”? Do you make something, provide a service, work with data, or share information?

4) Share your list with others and ask them what jobs and careers might fit with your criteria. Don’t be shy; people love to give advice! Develop a list of potential careers and jobs you need to learn more about. Don’t prematurely reject jobs because of a perceived barrier. Find out the truth first.

5) Find ways to safely explore whether this new career might be right for you. Once you have defined the job you think you want, research information about what it might take to get into the field. Think about ways to make sure this is the correct choice. Examine alternatives carefully. Ask the following questions:

What skills might you need that you can get on your current job? Are there additional responsibilities or projects you can volunteer for that will boost your skills in a needed area?
Do you need retraining or additional certifications?
Do you need a new degree? Can you take night or distance classes? Does your current company offer tuition reimbursement?
Are there professional associations you can join to network and learn about the field?
Are there industry conferences you can attend? Many are on weekends.
Can you use the network of people you know to find someone who is doing the job you want to do? Arrange a conversation where they can tell you about it and give some advice.
What Internet resources are available to research the field, find companies that might hire you, and meet others who work in the field? Are there chat rooms, message boards, or E-lists to meet people?
What books can you read to help make decisions about life choices?
What volunteer opportunities are available to grow your skill base in the areas you need?
Are there second jobs you can take to gain experience or test out your interest in a job?

If you are miserable in your current job, remember that taking slow and steady tiny steps in a new direction can be very empowering. It’s your choice.

Ask the Career Coach
Question: Within your negotiations, how do you play it “cool” without coming across as inflexible or desperate?

Everyone wants to be “cool” like Elvis or “The Fonz”, right? Cool as a cucumber.

Unfortunately, we are all human and are vulnerable. You need/want a new job, so you are out looking for one. The employer knows that. They need that slot filled too, and might be equally nervous about whether you will say “yes.”

There’s nothing wrong with being excited, positive, hopeful and a little bit nervous during the negotiation stage. There’s also nothing wrong with showing that or sharing it—a little.

The most power you will ever have in a negotiation is when:

a) They really, really want you and have invested a lot of time/money in you

b) You are perfectly willing to get up and walk away

The reality is that you will rarely be willing to get up and walk away (i.e. you don’t really need that job, so you can be inflexible and demand rather than negotiate). However, try this: pretend you don’t “need” but are willing to “consider” the job. How differently would you act? Would you be more relaxed and easygoing? Try this mental tactic on yourself during negotiation.

Two things you don not want to display during a salary and job negotiation are inflexibility and desperation. Both of these traits really blow your cool image out of the water!

Inflexible:

Inflexible job seekers tend to focus narrowly on salary, do not offer alternatives, use the word “I” a lot, and don’t use words like “concessions” and “win-win”. They tend to view the world as black-and-white, and aren’t interested in finding shades of gray or common ground. Often they take an adversarial position once the job offer comes, and bring emotion into the process.

When discussing the future job, try to focus on being willing to create alternatives, finding areas of agreement, and stating that you want both parties to be satisfied. When you make absolute statements you don’t give the employer any room to create other options and work with you.

Avoid:

“I won’t/can’t take any less than…”
“My market research says that $X is the right amount…”
“I really need…”

Desperate:

Desperate job seekers are afraid, and they show it. Usually it is financial desperation, but could also be based on insecurity, loss of identity with job loss, or age/discrimination-based fears.

Desperate job seekers tend to be in a rush, have little patience, and freely share their many stresses with everyone they meet. Rather than getting the empathy they seek, they tend to either be pitied or labeled as a whiner (cringe).

Would you rather have lunch with Winnie the Pooh’s eternally mournful donkey friend Eeyore, or with the bouncy, cheerful, and optimistic Tigger? Your outlook on the future and the job results you will bring to the company need to be the focus of your energy. You don’t need to blurt out the whole truth; decide what you want to share.

Avoid:

“They (last employer) really caught me unaware when they laid me off, I had just… (name expensive thing you did).
“I’m really under a lot of pressure at home, my spouse/significant other is really upset…”

Keeping your cool during the negotiation of a job offer isn’t easy. It’s like walking a tightrope. Don’t be afraid to show your humanity and your personality, but do be mindful how the words you use can impact your image.

For people who are afraid to leave their jobs (although they are miserable)

Cool as a cucumber during salary negotiations